Sunday, 30 August 2015

How many 'shoulds' do you say?

I woke up this morning (now yesterday) full of good intentions I was going to head over to Heligan for a couple of hours before Mick gets home and actually get out with the camera and take some pics.  I also - as always have a list of things I want to do and should do and trying to work out why the 'want list' never gets a look in. I got as far as my email box and found this newsletter and thought how apt.

Examining the "Shoulds"
Over the last month I've been noticing how much "should" comes up in my thoughts. It's amazing how often I think, "I should be doing this or that..." With my art. With my business. With my free time. With my family. The list goes on and on, of all of the things I "should" be doing.

Have you ever noticed that when a "should" pops up, there are some accompanying emotions? For me it's often guilt, with a little bit of defiance and defensiveness thrown in. Because I'm not doing something I'm supposed to be doing, and I feel I have to justify it for some reason. Every time I think a "should," I have this tiny internal struggle.

That's because "should" is a loaded word. Elle Luna, author of The Crossroads of Should and Must: Find and Follow Your Passion says, "Should is the expectations others layer upon us. When we pick Should, we're choosing to live for someone or something outside ourselves."

The struggle I'm feeling each time a "should" pops up is the desire to choose my own path, rather than the path others lay out for me. My emotional reaction to the word is an important tool to help me sort through the myriad of options available to me, and to recognize the ones that don't quite fit. Instead of spending the mental energy fighting against a "should," I can spend the energy to understand why I feel that way and make a choice to use or discard the idea that brought on the "should," once and for all. 

We are all presented with so much advice, solicited and unsolicited, from just about every quarter of our lives, it's no wonder we are filled up with "shoulds." It's time to recognize and sort them out for what they are -- external expecations -- and to decide what to do with them. In the end, there is only one "should" we all need to listen to: You should do what you want to do.

Figure out and follow your own path in life, and the "shoulds" will slowly fade away.

Taken from

How many others can relate to this or am alone?

Already my 'want to list' has been pushed back as it is raining, so no Heligan.  The other jobs have now been put on hold as I have to go and collect Amanda from a friend's as she is not well (looks like she had a good night out last night lol!!).  So curtain hanging in her room today will not be happening lol

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